No headline

Last night I had a dream ….confusing, scary, nightmare…… My body was all in spots – small, big, middle, ugly, repulsive, abominable spots. I went to ask my mother what is happening to me, but instead of her I found one sweet little child sitting on the bed. She was skinny but had this special energy that can make you smile even in the worst moments of your life.

Hey who you are? – I asked

I’m you

I began to laugh.

Where did you come from?

From you. – she said with tiny, tender voice.

Ok, then when you know so much for me tell me what is happening, why I have all this things on me?

Listen, every small spot is the UNNECESSARY worry, the things which depends on you but you didn’t change them, because you thought you are not strong enough.

Every middle one equals to each missed smile, every hurry, and every bad thing you’ve done in order to get what you wanted, every time you hurt somebody.

The big ones, how can I tell you, they are your pain, lost love, lost relationships with your friends or family, every shock on your heart, every lost, every missed happiness, every bad thing you’ve done to yourself without knowing.

You’ll ask me now? Who done that to you….- it was you …and now you’re suffering for what you’ll never be able to bring back to your life or can’t fix.

That is you, and all people – destroyers of their own life and progress. In fact, what you think for success is your true failure.

I woke up pale and scared……..

Published in: on July 5, 2007 at 8:51 am Comments (2)

Late call from nowhere…..

It’s a hot summer night, just minutes before i go out.Everything is so calm, so quiet that i can hear even the most unrecognisable noises.

The phone is ringing and i have to run from one room to the other to anwer it.

I pick up the phone and hear the most strange voice in my entire life. :

- “Hay, it’s me do you remember me ?”- this voice is barely audible and hoarse, so it is almost impossible to recognise it on the other side of the phone line.

- “No, sorry. I really can’t remember you. “

- “Oh, how did that happened? How come ….in the past…..”- it stopped, now I have to strain every nerve to hear it ….with every second it becomes more and more muted.

- “I told you, sorry . See I’m in a hurry I have to go out so tell me why you are calling me ? “
- “ I can’t …..” – for a moment I think that the voice is dying but it is not – “ I can’t breathe….”
I’m wondering what is happening, why this guy is calling me in the middle of the night from the middle of nowhere and is trying to tell me something that doesn’t mean anything to me.

-“ Ok, why don’t you call at the hospital they ca help you I can’t. Are you ill? “
- “I’m ……..i’m …….my name …
- What ? Come on I have a few minutes not the whole time in the world ! – I ‘m annoyed now – What is your name ?
- “ My name is ………s…so…sou…”
- “WHAT ? WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?”
- “Sss…..Soul…..and…I’m dying…..”
- “that is a joke right ?”
-“No.”
This simple word “no” is so negative, full of desperation and mortification, that It almost stops my breath for a moment. I am scared to death, what an irony of fate.
I am in a panic, because I’m late for a date with my friends. A think all that is just a childish joke so…:
- “ Look what, I wish you nice night and go to hell!”
- “ Help.”
I turn off the phone and go out with my friends. It is a lovely night.
Waking up. It’s raining outside. Something is missing. Something inside me is death. I walk through the corridor and see the phone is broken to little lonely black pieces of nothing.

Published in: on June 29, 2007 at 7:29 pm Comments (1)